and it happened just like that. suddenly i dont feel so bad for myself...and yet i have so much more sympathy for those who i've harmed in my ignorance.

my first day in rehab...i dont suppose i've ever been so depressed and so full of glee at any point in my lifetime..

i met some whos stories were less sad then that of my own of course, but in this travel i also grasped onto a sense of appreciation for the people that had initially shut me down. these kids were so worn. they were involuntarily being put through anguish that me myself wouldn't ever be able to bear. truly, i cant see why any of it is fair whatsoever. it just really made me think about the people during the past week that have been hard on me because they want me to become something in my life you know?...these others, they had missed out on such individuals in their past and now, when have finally hit rock bottom , have acquired some sense of support because it was the only direction they could head in besides their destruction. i mean without these people, i can only imagine where i would be heading, seriously...would i have been thrust down the same road as these emotionally starved peers of mine? and guys, it was only my first day. i really cant comprehend why things hit me so hard on the first impression. i guess its a good quality in some aspects..such as uhhh...not substances that will just fuck me over in my future. i really, as of now cant wait to go back. its a rush itself finally being able to open up to people after such a long time being astray from myself and anyone or anything that really understood my outlook on this ignoramus fucking planet...could it be? -dingus