strangly..i think im starting to kindof dig goin to rehab. like the people are pretty fucking fresh..into all the same music and shit..and its something to really get my mind off of shit since im not just sittin at home..i think i can really deal with this..and hey its helping me at the same time. today wasnt bad at all. its good after yeserday..i dono what was goin on there...wow such a hatred for the fucking world man. but dont we all feel that way somehow?...eh now i have to just get through the rest of the weekend tryin to cope without seein the Deenymister. Thats somehow the hardest of all of this. I guess its cause i went from seein the kid 8 hours a day to about a half hour a day. It does suck...I'm stuck in this place for a while longer..I guess i can say its not fucking bad at all concidering the circumstances. REally not bad. I probably wont be sayin that in a month haha. But I'm just trying really really really hard to just not be stressed out cause lately its been completely too overwhelming. I guess its bad to forget about everything and try to ignore shit but doin that today really kept me content. Tis pretty risky though cause i've tried this method so many times and just have been like kicked back into my depression. It really sucks man. I mean, it'll just take time and thats something im gonna learn out of this. For now, its just too hard but what else can i do..Other then something really stupid which does arise quite often in my mind involuntarily. Another one of those crazy ass things that have never happened to me before. Now I guess I kindof realize that it was good all this happened. I have a chance to really get everything back together and on a clear mind realize its not worth fucking things up for such things you know? I'm learning so much too. Even if its crap i never really wanted to deal with, I guess it'll only make me stronger in the end. I just can't wait till i get out of the house and really test my strength..When that time comes, you guys better be on my ass about shit though...I know i cant afford to take risks and as of now i know i can do it, but when the time comes I'm gonna need some help man. I'm just glad I have people out there that i know are there for me..Thanks...I'm doing it for you people. Awww i love you guys. haha. -dingus